So fucking unfit

Hi all you wanna be Ty-Morrows. Welcome to the real world of Australian BMX; where legends never actually come to fruition and dreams are shattered by the prospect of owning a euro 4 cylinder vehicle.
Today I am going to post a whole bunch of useless and lack-luster images that I shot whilst on trip in Brisbane with my KREWz. Hope you enjoy them and please comment all abuse down there in that comments section. I have been typing for 30 seconds and I have already typed more than any of the other Crispy posters. Losers.

- Dre

This photo may not look like much but let me tell you – the BANGER of the trip happened right here. HAMMERs all day by Tenna. Kind of.

Juan and John – the double J team hammering out a line at some super slippery park that we rode. The nipple thing was fun but slippery. Like most of Vockos mates – slippery Gypsies. If you look hard you will notice Mr Jack Elkins – fresh off the back of his Holy Fit section.



This guy – he pretty much had me convinced for the entire stay that he hated my wog guts and wanted to punch me out but I think in hind sight he was just fucking star struck with my presence. Cant blame him I am a headliner.
Thanks for having us Wilto your one of the best in this sooky country.






Mr Benn Pigot – poor fella had a big Lara Bingle (thats a crash for all the swag dogs out there). But he came good a couple of days later and hammered out some stuff for the video. To be honest we have the best fucking team in Australia if not the world. Why? simple equation really – Legend Team Manager + 2 good riders + heaps of hacks + Super talented video production dude = Legend team.


Speaking of Gypos – Beechy; he is the biggest gypsy in Straya but can ride a bloody push bike. I liked him a lot more before he decided to sleep next to me in the lounge room for two days. Personal space is important on trip and I tell ya its hard to get sometimes.


See that wall? See that skid? Wait till you see the fucking clip


Some reasons why Cody Pollard is one of my favourite people on the face of the earth: Super humble, relaxed, rides ANY park and makes it look good, listens to metal and drives a fucking Aussie V8. You read that right? not 4 cylinders but 8. Double trouble. Props to me on the well timed photo too.


Tenna has the greatest crashes – it shows; he has had broken so many bones I can’t recall them all and has had the gnarliest head injury. Seriously you groms have no idea about hard work on a flat ledge. Props to Tenna for getting a serious hammer on this weird set up too.  And solid logo placement too!




And it wouldn’t be a piss take without uploading a glorious image of Aus BMX poster boy Mr Michael Vockenson.
He is broken off pretty bad at the moment and he is a little bummed.
Speaking of bummed the NORA cup can go and get fucked. Go and shove your recognition of hard work and nominate another cookie cutter tall tee swag fag for section of the year. Not our little Vocko. For fuck sake when are we going to pull our shit together and get off the American industries dick? Our riders are world class in all aspects – Chris Harti, Logan Martin, Vocko, Brock Olive ect… why do we all feel the need to make pilgrimage to L.A and make it? Oh wait not me – I never got close to making it…


I will post more photos later on – lots of exciting photos to come.

Thanks for reading my tripe and hopefully I don’t upset too many people. Actually I don’t care.

- Dre

Posted by VockoOn 28/092 comments »

Legalize Drugs and Murder

A title only one band could get away with, Electric Wizard are back after 4 years (Black Masses) with a brand fucking new album, heavier and more evil than you can imagine. I’m about 30 minutes away from having my very own copy and man I cannot wait to give the album a full listen through tonight.

Stream dis bitch here.

I feel like I wanna say more about this because to me, this is one of the most anticipated albums of my life. I would honestly not even think about paying over a grand to see these guys live. I can’t even begin to understand how moved I would be to see Jus Osburn shred in front of me, to feel the satanic wrath and become mesmerized.

This interview kinda details what Electric Wizard are all about, comical at times, yet eerily unhallowed.

Jus, could you explain to us the power of the low end and how repetition can put a listener into a trance-like state?

I think that’s pretty well known, it’s the pagan roots of music. That trance low-end thing…the droning is the sound of the Earth. The world vibrates at a certain frequency…Om…Om…that is drone.

We try to actually fuck with that Earth rhythm to cause disorientation and distortions in your perception, to disturb your equilibrium and break your self-obsessed paradise to the horrible reality of nothingness. We achieve this through repetition too, then gradual manipulation of perception. But this is the power the riff also…to beguile, or better still, obliterate.

The trance, to us, is just a gateway state for us to enter and alter your perceptions and reality.

Feedback is mind-destroying when used correctly as well.”

What is described above, precisely occurred with me whilst watching the below in it’s entirety;

Also, if you are at all into doom/stoner/sludge metal, both these bands fucking rule and recently released new albums;

Posted by VockoOn 25/09Comment »

Phil Jones is the man

Ignoring the dubious at best logo, take in the glory that is Phil Jones. There is lots to like about this, but above all, I would have to say that seeing ol’ Jonesy haul ass at a kinker to face made me the happiest. Not because he crashed, but because he has that burning desire to send himself. Going white knuckle, balls out at a huge rail makes me love BMX so much and it is becoming so fucking rare.

Obviously there is so much else to like about this, pretty much every clip was gnarly in some way and the music, which I think is Kylesa? rules. I’ll probably watch this a bunch of times.

Other things I liked are; the dude wears a helmet, didn’t include any gammon ass lifestyle footage, did a railhop to ice chink and bro-cam.

Posted by VockoOn 23/09Comment »

Dare of the Dalai

Hai guyz, what’s happening. Sorry for the lack of updates, well I’m not really sorry, but I thought it best to let you know what’s going on. Crispy is going fucking global, that is what is happening ‘up in dis bitch’. But really, the current website as you see it will be no more in a couple of weeks time. I have employed the worlds leading web design team and have had them working around the clock for the past few months to bring you something really special. It will be the greatest website that internet has ever seen, the SINGL GRATEST.

Anyway, that is kinda half the reason why I haven’t been posting too, I am fucking over this gammon bitch of a site as it currently appears.

Seen this and thought it was cool. Guy Perrett being Anton Ayres;

The guys over at ECC have released a new beanie, it’s red, made of soft material and sits on your head to make you A) look cool and/or B) stop those long, glorious locks from banging your face all day;

Whilst I’m plugging shit, check out Chronic Bone to have a look at some wax that Uncle Bone has been crafting for a while now. Pretty fucking sick if you ask me;

Noticed that Kyle Jacobson is keeping the updates flowing over on his blog, here. Seen this awesome shot of The Gonz at a recently visited spot;

How about some new music from Julian Casablancas of The Strokes. Real grimy kinda shit;

Posted by VockoOn 22/09Comment »

Blue Jean Baby

Ask and you shall receive I guess. After whinging about the continual bombardment of cookie cutter, trendy whore, 4 peg coaster blowing, cenergy drink sippin’, fashion conscious, crank sliding little bitches, a messiah has been sent to save us.

But who, this guy. Ironically, Frenchie had the honour of posting it;

One word to describe it – haggard.

I liked lots of things:

- The fact that you can hear his bike, which assumes metal parts;

- The grimy ass music;

- The fact that he self filmed a bunch of gnarly rails;

- The x-up manual combinations, particularly the backwards x peg manual, that was badass;

- His name is Roc, how hesh is that;

- Being haggard in general, slipping feet, wearing camo pants without knowing that they are fucking fashionable which I assume he would care zero about;

- The weird ass intro and breaking shit for the outro.

I could go on but I won’t.

Posted by VockoOn 16/09Comment »